The Insomnia Post
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This is an Insomnia Post. No doubt my husband, who is gently snoring upstairs in our loft (along with Bo and Molly, the dogs, and Leo, the kitty), will wake up because of my absence, come downstairs and demand to know what the hell I’m doing, typing at 2:00 a.m.
Seriously, when you’re 63 and don’t work, who really cares what time it is?
Sadly, he still does work. Well, he works when he finally manages to get to town.
Today, yet another semi splintered in half, going too fast down a bridge off-ramp. The entire city area freeways were paralyzed for several hours. Which meant that, what should have been an hour plus commute for my husband, once again, turned into a 2 hour nightmare on our roads. Lest I appear unsympathetic toward the semi’s driver, I might inform you that “speed was a factor.”
You see, in this extremely liberal, West Coast city, the “Powers That Be” have decided that, since we are all so “environmentally friendly,” we should all be riding our bikes to work. (Yeah, even though we live over an hour away). The County maintains that, since we are all on our bikes, the City should be allowed to build dozens of multi-unit, multi-use highrises, without providing parking. And they certainly don’t feel a need to widen the jam-packed freeways.
I can’t be entirely sure, but I’m kinda thinking that that sort of thinking is going to make this city a Thing Of The Past. To be honest, they would deserve it.
It used to be an amazing, clean and beautiful town. And now, the politicians have invited all the “urban campers” to sleep on any sidewalk they like. Local merchants are being forced to leave downtown. Who the heck wants to go downtown to do their Christmas shopping, if you have to fend off angry, drunk people who are pissed off at you for trying to step around their “urban” campsite? And if they aren’t angry, they’re panhandling.
We have a good friend who runs a very hot boutique hotel. He’s not legally allowed to remove the squatters from the sidewalk outside of this hotel. So, every morning, a member of his staff goes out and power washes the sidewalk (which, by then, are in need of it!) The very taxpayers that pay the local government are the ones that are being forced to endure these crazy policies.
Anyway, I digress. Personally, I have never had the money to go downtown to shop. But if I did, I would avoid downtown altogether and head directly to Amazon.
I woke up at 1:00 a.m., thinking how freeing it is to have a blog at the age of 63. This was not an easy feat for me to accomplish, by any means. I probably spent 8 hours a day for 8 WEEKS teaching myself WordPress. But that was because I was so technologically incompetent, it was like a Dinosaur teaching itself to learn how to boil water. Or invent the wheel. Seriously, it’s a really good thing modern man wasn’t depending on someone like me to survive and evolve! We would still be living in caves, chewing on raw wildebeest.
Having conquered “WordPress,” I can now say it is quite liberating, for the following reasons:
First of all, no one is reading this (well, except an occasional kid of mine, and even that’s pretty rare). I do, however, have two followers that matter: one, a young friend who has been in my life forever (my daughter’s friend from middle school) and one, an old friend from our small town, whom I love dearly. And that is enough for me.
I haven’t had a journal of any sort since college, and I’ve always liked to write. So, I guess this is it, now.
And, it’s a great cure for insomnia.
I had a hard day, today, feeling very melancholy. The kids left yesterday after our Thanksgiving and we had had a really, really great time. Later, Bill and I went and got our trees at a nearby gorgeous, but really cold tree farm, high up on a windy ridge in the Oregon Coast Foothills. Brrr.
Today, it was just the dogs, the kitty and me. I was missing the rest of my kids (4 kids and partners and grandkids) so much. It really hit me hard, the fact that they wouldn’t be here for Christmas. One won’t be here because she doesn’t want to be. At the age of 20, she up and left us for some reason I will never, ever comprehend.
The rest of the clan can’t join us because it’s too far away and far too expensive to travel. Why the hell they ever invented the East Coast is beyond me.
I know we’re supposed to give our kids their wings. If I’m completely honest, I just never seriously considered the possibility that they would someday fly 3,000 miles away.
This weekend, the 14 bins of Christmas decorations will go up. They will be beautiful, the result of years of Goodwill Hunting. I poured a lot of love into every piece I collected or needle-pointed or made with salt dough, no matter how inexpensive. I wanted my kids to have a feeling of Christmas Magic and I think they did.
So, with bittersweet, nostalgic feelings of love and longing, joy and sadness, bring on the Season.
On a very happy note, we get our little 5 year old granddaughter for several days in a few weeks. We are so excited to spend the time baking Christmas cookies, learning to pipe (frosting, not tobacco!), making a mess in the kitchen, reading together, watching Christmas movies and getting some quality and quantity time with our sweetie pie.
I have decided to make cookies for the local soup kitchen this season. I’m just hoping they won’t require a kitchen license. Back in the day, I would bake my son’s kindergarten class homemade cookies once or twice a week. Then The Powers That Be said my kitchen needed a commercial license.
I kind of hate “The Powers That Be.”
Cheers and here’s to Insomnia! Happy Holidays!